As a mother of one I'm not a stranger to the fact things change after children enter your world. Especially with your partner. We are both tired, all the time. Our clocks don't normally sync up all the time. That's why setting a Sex Appointment can help.
* Communicate your feelings and thoughts about your sexual intimacy and different time schedules and/or body clocks. I'm a night owl so this is normally my time. My Spouse however is first thing in the morning when all I can think about is Sesame Street playing in the back ground and JaMonkey tickling my toes.
* Don't fall into the trap of thinking that scheduling sex makes sex boring. I've been desperately trying to let my husband in on this one. He says scheduling stuff, even date nights, isn't romantic or fun. Um, reality check dear, we have a 2 year old. We kinda need to nail down a babysitter or not be out late if she's with us.
* Look at both of your schedules and determine a couple of times per week that would work best. We've come to the conclusion that Lunch time booty is the only time we can slip it in, she's either sleeping or still at school. Maybe it's the moment you put your kids down for the evening. Instead of heading for the couch with the remote you whip out the lace (or latex whatever your into) and see if that doesn't set things in motion.
* Be realistic about your kids' schedules and other commitments. My child doesn't have any commitments yet but I'm sure many of you have soccer games and ballet recitals to think about.
* Don't pick a time that you know one of you will need or want to cancel.Like in my case weekends are breakable dates, I might be doing a Pure Romance party, or he might be brewing beer. Whereas weekdays are pretty much the same every single evening
* Accept there will be some compromise for both of you. You both may lose some sleep now and then. I think there should be a me night and a partner night. Sometimes you have to compromise if you really want to do it at night your partner should respect that but you must be willing to come to his terms too.
* Once you have some times scheduled, stay committed to those times with one another. Start with one, if it works out then start scheduling more. Sex is an amazing stress reliever along with fantastic for your relationship. Throw some games in there to make it interesting.
* Try to get away once a month without the kids. These one-night stands are good for your marriage.See a movie, bring the kids to the grandparents. Do a sitter exchange with friends. They watch your kids one night and you return the favor one night!
It may sound like a silly concept especially to someone that doesn't have children. But for those that do you know what I'm talking about. Set a date make a whole night of it. Go to dinner, see a movie, come home and the kids should be nice and tucked in when you get home...now get busy!