You first need to debunk the fact that what you see in the movies, or in porn isn't always going to be the case. Maybe on the rare occasion that the stars align and the world stops spinning long enough for that earth shattering moment. I'm just kidding. Practice makes perfect. It's also better with help. As we age our orgasms change as well. It doesn't make you a dirty person if you use toys to achieve an orgasm. You use a pot and a spatula to cook your eggs. There tools that's all. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Some women go there whole lives without having an orgasm because they think that getting help is demeaning or in bad practice. Pish, don't knock it till you try it I say. Try some thing new. A new lube, a new position, a new toy. Doesn't matter just try something new. Women are blessed with this gift of having multiple orgasms and in different places to trigger them! With an abundance of nerve endings in those areas it's just a matter of how to stimulate them!
There is a fantastic book that I think every women should own.called Tickle Your Fancy by Sadie Allison. If your nervous about getting a toy. I think you should start here.
"A woman's guide to sexual pleasure, this exciting self-help book gives you more than 30 masturbation techniques along with diagrams and illustrations! Strengthen your sexual awareness and your sex life with this "how to" masturbation guide for women! Learning what you like is the first step in communicating with your partner to enhance your experience together."This self help book is also fabulous for your partner to read. Highlight the things you like in it and give it to your partner. There is also a Male version called Tickle His Pickle. But were not focusing on the men. Were focusing on the women here.
I think if you don't own some sort of toy, give one a try. Even if it's a discreet lipstick or rubber ducky. Check these products out.
I've never met a women that was disappointed because she bought a toy. She normally just buys other ones and her likings change. Something stronger, quieter, maybe rechargeable ;) Either way you should invest in your orgasm. I promise the payout return is worth it.