Wednesday, June 23, 2010

New Giveaway Coming Soon

Posted by Meghan at 9:50 AM 0 comments Links to this post
I've been asked to do a giveaway! Yipee! I have lots of reviews and things to catch up on since Sexthusiast still isn't up and running. I'm still begging Google to help me out and give it life again but if push comes to shove we will do just fine here. Just stinks that I will have to write every thing again. So I apologize in advance if you've read the stories here before. Thanks again for being a reader.

More details soon about my next giveaway.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Patty Brisben Foundation

Posted by Meghan at 11:21 AM 0 comments Links to this post
We obviously know I'm a Pure Romance consultant, but did you know why? When I lost my job back in 2008 I started searching for a company that sold Romance products but was much bigger than making money. I wanted to educate and assist women in their sexual health and well being. I didn't have to look hard to find that Pure Romance was the place for me. The owner Patty Brisben was also a strong advocate. She even started a foundation to fund research into sexual health for women!

So here is everything you need to know about the Patty Brisben Foundation.

Patty's Story
Patty Brisben is the CEO and Founder of Pure Romance, Inc., one of the fastest growing woman-to-woman businesses in the world. As the leading party plan company specializing in relationship enhancement products, Pure Romance is improving the quality of sexual health and awareness for women and couples everywhere.
Pure Romance has experienced over a decade of success and Patty has always been a believer that when blessed, one should always find ways to give back to the community. This commitment has led to the creation of The Patty Brisben Foundation.

The Patty Brisben Foundation is a non-profit charitable organization and will work to specifically benefit causes directly related to women and sexual health. 

Working to Enhance Women’s Sexual Health and Well-Being Through Research and Education
The Patty Brisben Foundation supports research to identify information and develop tools that enable women to have appropriate discussions regarding sexual health among themselves, with their family members, relational partners and healthcare providers. The Patty Brisben Foundation pledges to support:

Innovative research that seeks to understand the nature of women’s sexuality and sexual health in today’s society

Much-needed research that seeks to understand how people develop and sustain relationships, seek and obtain information about their bodies and how women in particular manage the complex sexuality issues that arise when faced with a chronic illness

Research and educational programs that seek to improve the extent to which healthcare providers respond to their patients’ sexuality issues 

Our Story
The Patty Brisben Foundation was created to provide continuing education, critically important research and community programming all designed to further enhance the quality of information and health services provided to all women.

According the American Cancer Society, approximately 1,400,000 new cancer cases are expected to be diagnosed in 2008 and over 50% of those affected say that intimacy after cancer is not addressed by the medical profession. Yet, the lives of these individuals and their spouses are profoundly touched! The Foundation has been established to improve the quality of lives of women impacted by cancer and their families to help improve their overall intimate health.

But women with cancer are not the only ones struggling to cope with intimacy related issues. Women who suffer from chronic illnesses, obesity, body image issues, pain or emotional issues all need a place to turn for help. The Patty Brisben Foundation wants to be that place for all women, but we need your support!

We urge you to join us by making a contribution to the Foundation. We believe the work of this Foundation will result in significant contributions to women’s health and we hope you agree and will join us in this endeavor as we continue to break down barriers and stereotypes surrounding sexuality.

When you are initially diagnosed with cancer your first thought is survival. Your doctors are working so hard to save your life that sometimes it is hard for them to remember that you are also someone’s lover and that they are working so hard to continue your time on this earth. My doctors were my first line of defense. They were the ones that made the difference in my recovery. I looked up to them and they were the ones that answered my questions, but sometimes they didn’t understand what I was going through on a day-to-day basis within my relationship.
As I was going through the various treatments and numerous surgeries, I realized that my new life was beginning. However, I felt like no one had warned me about what was going to happen the months and even years to come. I would have given anything to go back and have someone tell me before my treatment that it was going to be the last time that I would be able to be intimate with my husband as we had for so many wonderful years.

But like with any story, mine, too, has a happy ending. I feel like I have been truly blessed; I work for a company that has supported me through my battle with cancer. What amazes me even more is that they were able to start a non-profit organization that has helped me, is helping so many other women, and hopes to help thousands more to rediscover their intimate selves. I don’t know where I would be today if I hadn’t had the resources that The Patty Brisben Foundation was able to provide to me. I knew I could ask any question, and they would find the answers that were right for me. The resources and solutions to my intimacy related side effects that I received have made a world of difference in my relationship with my husband. It’s almost like we are newly weds again! All women will go through some of the issues I faced, whether they are experiencing natural or induced menopause. I have even gotten my doctors and my health care team involved in the 

Foundation’s mission.
I was once told that a person had to have passion about what they believed in to truly make a difference. I believe that to be true! I’m passionate about The Patty Brisben Foundation and what they have done for me and the many women like me.
Debbie Booso
Breast Cancer Survivor

Saturday, June 12, 2010

A Low Libido: Hard to Talk About, Simple to Treat

Posted by Meghan at 11:22 AM 0 comments Links to this post
by Lori Beeler
Women and men alike listen up. Not only do men experience a low libido now and then, but women do also. So, men do not think that your spouse is not attracted to you if she does not feel like making love. Most of the problems with a low sex drive can be caused by many things, and a lot of them can be treated.

The first thing that can decrease your libido is being ill, tired, or in pain. Or your mind may be consumed with other medical worries. Once everything is over, your libido should return to normal. If it does not then consult your doctor.

Second there are emotional issues that can trigger a low sex drive. If you are worried about things at work, financial matters, or had someone close to you pass away then all of these can cause a less than normal sex drive. Again, consult your doctor if your libido does not return to normal when things have settled down.

Third is the issue of performance anxiety. You are worried about what your partner is going to think. Or for some women who suffer from vaginal dryness you may avoid sex because it hurts.

Now one of the real culprits in a woman is hormones. As a woman's testosterone levels (yes, women produce testosterone also) decrease, so does her sex drive. By age 50 a woman's testosterone levels are half of what they were at age 25.

A woman's worry about her body image may also play a role in a low libido. Worries about gray hair, weight gain, wrinkles, or other problems with the body may decrease a woman's sex drive dramatically.

Biological causes can also reduce a woman's sex drive (men's also). If someone has Parkinson's or diseases of the adrenal, thyroid, and pituitary glands, they will sometimes have a less than normal sex drive. Also, certain medications can also be a cause. Check with your doctor about the medications you are taking.

Getting help for a low sex drive may be as uncomplicated as talking to your doctor.

A simple change in the dosage of a medication you are taking, or changing the medication itself, can help to boost the libido.

Getting treatment for things such as vaginal dryness can relieve pain and get the sex drive back on track.

We have a great line of Arousal Creams to boost a male or females libido into high gear!

Friday, June 11, 2010

7 Function Remote Bullet Review

Posted by Meghan at 11:24 AM 0 comments Links to this post
I was very excited to receive this 7 Function Remote bullet in the mail from CalExotics to review. I was planning on getting one myself so it came just in time. It comes in a package that is classy compared to most toy packages. It has a couple on the front dress for a ball. Which oddly enough is what I think about when I think of the Remote Bullets. Walking around a swanky party while my husband holds the remote. Maybe more of a fantasy I guess. They box lets you know everything you need to decide on this product. It's waterproof, and the picture shows actual size and that it has the Velvet-Cote soft feel to it.

After taking this toy out I got even more excited. it comes with the batteries a 12v and 8 watch batteries. After skimming through the directions that came with it I got the 4 watch batteries installed (the rest are extras). It was just a battery compartment that fits them perfectly so putting them in all at once with the plastic on worked just fine. But going back to the toy later it wasn't working so we attempted to take the plastic off of the batteries for a better connection. That didn't work either. Found out that the batteries die SUPER fast even in the off position. So (with the plastic still on) we used the second set and it worked just fine. So if your struggling with the batteries trying installing with the plastic still on the batteries. But make sure to take out the batteries out after you use it because the toy will not work. I hate that.

The Bullet is about 3" from tip to tip. Which part of that is the transmission cord that receives the signal. The circumference is 3 3/4" so it's a nice size bullet. One I don't feel like I'm going to loose. I also like the feel of this toy. It's an ABS Plastic with the Velvet-Cote on it. So soft to the touch. Phthalate Free and easy to clean with warm water and soap or your basic toy cleaner. There is a retrieval cord (says so on the box) but bullets really shouldn't be inserted vaginally, only used externally. The cord itself is used to retrieve the signal though so if your holding onto it it might disrupt the signal.

My husband stole the remote ,after getting the 12v battery installed, before I had a chance to even look at it and find each function. After chasing him down I got to check out the remote which has an antenna that pulls out like the old radios used to have. This was actually my favorite part of the 7 Function Remote Bullet. The remote screams I mean business! Love it. The remote has 4 buttons. A power button a "+ \ -" button for speeds and an "F" button for the functions. It also has a light on it that flashes to let you know the transmission was set to the bullet. This bullet has 7 different speeds starting on low and going higher as you press the "+" button. The low is a nice low so you can imagine that the high was quite strong. Moving into the different functions:

1. is a mind of its own. It starts low and then goes one step higher, then another higher then quickly drops back down to the low setting.

2. this one starts high and then slowly lowers to a dull vibe then back up.

3. is a medium steady pulsation

4. is a little faster pulsation

5. this one starts with a medium pulsation and builds to a stronger pulsation (my favorite) three short pulses with a long pulse at the end. ^^^---------
7. the last is the boring steady vibrations
After trying each setting out we started to test the "range" on this remote. Holding the bullet NOT THE CORD we were able to use this product all over the house. With clothes on and off and under a thick comforter. After reading others reviews I'm amazed they couldn't get it to work properly! We have a two story house and we were on opposite side of the house and it worked great! The product is supposed to work up to 26 feet away. We actually got it to work even further. We aren't even done experimenting with distance on this toy yet. But since this toy isn't a discreet toy I might get myself in trouble! ;)

I really enjoyed this toy, it will be a great in masturbation along with using with a partner. Especially if your partner it the one with the remote! The 7 functions keeps it interesting and the fact we were able to use it across our house was as well. I would definitely recommend a remote bullet if your trying to spice things up with your partner.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Back from Vegas

Posted by Meghan at 11:25 AM 0 comments Links to this post

So I'm back from Las Vegas! I had a fantastic time, but by the third day I was well over the expensive city and ready to be with my family again. Everything over there is nearly double what it costs in Atlanta. I ate at McDonalds more than once to save some cash. Pure Romance spoiled us rotten at all of our events. Here are a couple of snap shots.

The first night out we had an amazing Welcome Reception. It was a 20's themed Speakeasy were everyone dressed up. We got Personalized Pure Romance Poker chips to gamble with all evening. I stayed at the Black Jack table the whole time! I was kicking ass. Plus they gave us drink tickets for free drinks that night also. Hired some hotties to hand out chocolate cigars. After we were done dancing, gambling, drinking and eating we got to exchange our chips for free Pure Romance gear which was cool. Plus it was great practice. I got to meet Patty Brisben, the founder of Pure Romance.

The next night the served us a fantastic meal, I had steak of course, before our Awards Gala. I got dressed up to watch the top preforming consultants receive trophies and LOTS of cash and prizes! It was a lot of fun. Plus it was the last year in Las Vegas so I'm glad I was able to go. Next year we are going to Nashville, Tenn. Which I can drive to but HELLO it's not Las Vegas!!!!

The Hotel was beautiful. I couldn't get over just how big it was! I went to a Cirque du Soleil show called Zumanity and if you haven't heard of it
Click here <----don't you love that? Whoever the smart-ass is that thought of this site is genius!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Awesome Deals, Steals and a Giveaway! - Closed

Posted by Meghan at 11:26 AM 0 comments Links to this post
So how about a FREE lip gloss with all online orders? I'm talking you pick the shade and I ship it to you!

or 35% off all Bliss Clothing items? Cute clothes while supporting a great cause.

or maybe I'll just give away the newly made over G-Money!

Comment below to enter!

Get extra entries! Remember to leave a comment for each extra entry

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- Get FOUR Extra entries for subscribing to my newsletter, located in pink - must activate subscription

- Get THREE Extra entries if you Follow GirlsAfterDark on Twitter and tweet about this giveaway. Leave a link to your tweet url in the comments. Please copy and paste this into your tweet:

FREE products & a G-Money #giveaway over at RT & Follow @GirlsAfterDark for a chance to win

- Get TWO extra entries per day for tweeting daily - leave the tweet url in your comment for each extra tweet

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- Get FIVE Extra entries if you Stumble this post, leave five comments

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Men's Health - E.D.

Posted by Meghan at 11:29 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Let's switch gears for moment and talk about some Men's Health Issues. I first thing I wanted to cover was Erectile Dysfunction.

What is erectile dysfunction?
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is defined as the inability of a man to maintain a firm erection long
enough to have intercourse (typically defined as 25% of intimate encounters). Occasional occurrences
of ED are not necessarily something to be concerned about. However, if it causes problems
within a relationship or affects a man’s self-esteem, that may be cause for him to visit his health
care provider.

Who does erectile dysfunction affect?
ED can occur at any age, but is most common among older men (research shows that as many as
80% of men 75 years and older experience difficulties with erections).

What causes erectile dysfunction?
In some cases, ED is the first sign of an underlying health condition that may require medical
treatment. These include heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, and clogged blood
vessels. Because of this, it is important for a man to visit his health care provider if he has
difficulty with erections. A complete check-up can rule out the possibility of an underlying health
condition. Other causes for ED include:
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Fatigue
• Relationship problems
• Certain medications
• Weight gain
• Tobacco use
• Excessive alcohol use
• Prostate cancer and its treatment
• Multiple sclerosis
• Hormonal disorders (ie: low testosterone)

Is it possible to prevent erectile dysfunction?
There are certain things that men can do to potentially prevent the occasional occurrence of ED,
• Reduce stress
• Exercise regularly
• Lose weight (if obesity is the cause)
• Stop smoking
• Avoid illegal drugs and excessive alcohol use
• Get plenty of sleep
• Visit a health care provider for regular check-ups and health screenings
This is not a guarantee, though, so it is important for a man to speak to his health care provider for
ways that he may be able to prevent ED.

How can a man overcome erectile dysfunction?
There are several treatment options for men experiencing ED. These options may be determined
by the cause and severity of the issue. It is important for a man to speak to his health care
provider to find out what will be best for his situation. Certain medications, including Viagra and
Cialis, are one option for helping to improve erectile function. Men taking these medications must
still engage in sexual stimulation (erections do not just occur on their own). This is not an option
for all men, however, and will vary depending on each person’s medical history and current
health. For men who have testosterone deficiency, hormone replacement therapy is an option.
Counseling or sex therapy may work for some men, especially for men who have relationship
issues as a result of their ED. This is also a good option for men whose ED is caused by stress or

Does Pure Romance offer any products to help with erectile dysfunction?
One of the first products that a man with ED should try is X-Scream, one of Pure Romance’s
arousal creams. X-Scream can help to increase arousal for a man, possibly helping him to get an
erection. X-Scream helps to open blood vessels in the genitals, allowing blood to flow faster to
this area. X-Scream may not work for all men experiencing ED, especially if it is a severe case of
ED or if the problem is caused by an underlying health condition (treatment of that condition will
be necessary). However, an arousal cream is an option for men who cannot or do not want to take
prescription medications. Next, men with ED can use a male stimulator to increase blood flow to
their genitals, helping them to get an erection. (A product like Lavender Lover may work best
because it has more powerful suction than the rest of the male stimulators.) Once a man is able to
get an erection, he could use a c-ring, such as Jelly Tool Belt, to help him maintain it. Jelly Tool
Belt is probably the best option for men experiencing ED because it is very restrictive; the tightness
will help a man to maintain his erection for the duration of intercourse. Be sure to pair Jelly
Tool Belt with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Whipped or Lickity Stiff (which may be the best
option because of its added sensitizers), and to not wear the c-ring any longer than 30 minutes, or
less if there is any discomfort.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Have You Had an Orgasm?

Posted by Meghan at 11:32 AM 0 comments Links to this post
I'm sure every women has at some point in their life asked themselves this question. Most of the time you already know the answer to this question. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking.

You first need to debunk the fact that what you see in the movies, or in porn isn't always going to be the case. Maybe on the rare occasion that the stars align and the world stops spinning long enough for that earth shattering moment. I'm just kidding. Practice makes perfect. It's also better with help. As we age our orgasms change as well. It doesn't make you a dirty person if you use toys to achieve an orgasm. You use a pot and a spatula to cook your eggs. There tools that's all. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Some women go there whole lives without having an orgasm because they think that getting help is demeaning or in bad practice. Pish, don't knock it till you try it I say. Try some thing new. A new lube, a new position, a new toy. Doesn't matter just try something new. Women are blessed with this gift of having multiple orgasms and in different places to trigger them! With an abundance of nerve endings in those areas it's just a matter of how to stimulate them!

There is a fantastic book that I think every women should own.called Tickle Your Fancy by Sadie Allison. If your nervous about getting a toy. I think you should start here.

"A woman's guide to sexual pleasure, this exciting self-help book gives you more than 30 masturbation techniques along with diagrams and illustrations! Strengthen your sexual awareness and your sex life with this "how to" masturbation guide for women! Learning what you like is the first step in communicating with your partner to enhance your experience together."
This self help book is also fabulous for your partner to read. Highlight the things you like in it and give it to your partner. There is also a Male version called Tickle His Pickle. But were not focusing on the men. Were focusing on the women here.

I think if you don't own some sort of toy, give one a try. Even if it's a discreet lipstick or rubber ducky. Check these products out.

I've never met a women that was disappointed because she bought a toy. She normally just buys other ones and her likings change. Something stronger, quieter, maybe rechargeable ;) Either way you should invest in your orgasm. I promise the payout return is worth it.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Barriers to A Women's Sexual Response

Posted by Meghan at 11:36 AM 0 comments Links to this post
There are a number of factors that may inhibit a woman's sexual response. Sometimes this is due to physical factors, other times a woman's feelings or past experiences may affect her sexual responses. A woman's current or past experiences with sexual assault or domestic violence can make it more difficult to enjoy sexual relationships. A woman's sexual responses may be inhibited, if she doesn't trust her partner or if she and her partner can't communicate effectively. Even something as simple as an unresolved quarrel can inhibit a woman's sexual responses. Few women experience orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Rubbing or other less direct stimulation of the clitoris, is usually the easiest way for a woman to have an orgasm. Sometimes a woman may find her clitoris is very sensitive and direct stimulation is uncomfortable. If a woman rarely or never experiences orgasm, she may wish to explore her own responses through masturbation. She can then use this information to talk to her partner about how to make their sexual experiences more enjoyable.
There can also be physical barriers to sexual response:

Low hormone levels

Hormones are chemical messengers that carry instructions throughout the body. The level of one hormone often affects the level of another. Both estrogen and testosterone appear to be important to a woman's interest in sex and capacity to reach orgasm. Low estrogen levels may decrease how much lubricant a woman produces when she is aroused, and cause the tissues of the vagina to become thinner. Hormone levels may change:
  • around the time of menopause
  • if a woman has her ovaries removed or has other gynecological surgery
  • when a woman takes birth control pills
Treatment with artificial supplements of these hormones can help to alleviate these problems. Talk to your doctor about hormone replacement therapy.

There are also certain illnesses that can cause problems in the Sexual Response cycle.
-Diabetes- The nervous system is affected which can cause for a lack of sensation.
-Heart Disease- Lack of proper blood flow can cause not enough blood to reach the areas that need to become engorged in order to become aroused.
-Injury, surgery- especially to the genital area can cause scaring and damage to nerves.
-Depression- Can cause a lack of desire, or self confidence. Making it hard to start the first step of the Sexual response cycle. 
Always consult your doctor if you are feeling pain during sex. But explore options with Vaginal dilators, a good lubricant and Kegal exercises. 

Lack of Natural Lubrication

Lubrication makes the genital area slippery so it is easier to slide fingers, a man's penis or sex toys into the vagina or around the genital area. If a woman produces only a little lubricant, it may make sex uncomfortable. For some women this is always a concern; others may begin to experience this problem around the time of menopause. Prolonging the time a woman is excited before genital contact may help. You can buy lubricants that substitute for a woman's natural lubrication. For more on lubricants check out our selection.

Vaginal Muscle Strength

Orgasm is a repeated muscle spasm. These muscles may be stretched during the delivery of a child, they may weaken with age or they may never be very strong. Anything that increases muscle strength makes orgasm easier and more intense. Kegel exercises may be used to strengthen these muscles.Ben wa balls are a great assistance to doing your kegel exercises. We also carry an amazing product that tightens your PC muscles called Like a Virgin  you'll feel tighter to him and he'll be "bigger" you you!

Reduced blood flow to the genital area

Many of the signs of sexual arousal, including orgasm, are dependent on blood flow to the clitoris and genitals. Some medications that reduce blood pressure may inhibit a woman's ability to orgasm, but this may also occur without drugs. Pure Romance carries a fantastic line of Arousal creams to send a message to the brain to help get blood flowing to the clitoris again.

Sexual Fantasy

Posted by Meghan at 11:35 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Sexual fantasy refers to the mental image of a person, object, or situation, often but certainly not always involving a sexual component. Human sexuality is a dimension of social life that is often rich with many different sorts of fantasies. Sexual fantasies often entail mental scenarios involving persons other than one's regular partner and include sexual activities considered culturally inappropriate or unacceptable.

What Triggers Sexual Fantasies?
People vary considerably in their ability to fantasize and in their enjoyment of this behavior. Fantasies may supplant reality for some or may serve as a poor substitute of sexual reality for others. Fantasies are often triggered by external stimuli, such as an attractive stranger or an erotic picture, movie, or story.
Researchers have varying views on gender differences in fantasizing. Some argue that males are more prone to fantasize while others assert that fantasy is more common among women. Linda Wolfe studied a sample of 15,000 women ages 18-34, and less than three percent said they never fantasize.

Male Sexual Fantasies
In Western societies, males more often use sexually explicit material as a part of fantasy, whereas females are more likely to rely upon romance stories. Females are more likely to prefer erotica with a "softer," more imaginative side rather than the "harder," more explicit forms preferred by many males.
The male fantasy world relies heavily upon novel experiences filled with culturally-defined beautiful women who are always sexually available and free. Pornographic magazines such as Playboy and Penthouse, as well as a wide array of so-called harder publications (because they depict explicit sex acts), attempt to capitalize upon such fantasies.

Female Sexual Fantasies
Women often base their fantasies upon previous sexual experiences and tend to emphasize romance and intimacy. The onset of the women's liberation movement has created a renaissance in erotic fiction aimed at women by women writers and film makers.

"In Women On Top", Nancy Friday maintains that women have started a sexual revolution for equality and should implement it with a rich fantasy life. In her study of over 10,000 women, Friday noted that in recent years women's fantasies have relied more on active, assertive women giving pleasure, as compared to the fantasies containing more passive women receiving pleasure indicated by prior research. These findings suggest the importance of social environment (e.g., the impact of feminism) on the structuring of fantasy.
People generally fantasize when engaging in autoerotic sex or masturbation. In his research findings, the prominent sexologist Alfred C. Kinsey reported that fantasy accompanied masturbation for the majority (sixty-four percent) of females and virtually all males. About two percent of the women in his study sample reported achieving orgasm by fantasy alone. Older females were more prone to fantasize than younger females. Some people, particularly but not solely those from rural areas, have fantasies about sexual contact with animals.

What Do Sexual Fantasies Mean?
Having a fantasy about a particular sexual practice or activity does not mean that a person actually wishes to engage in that behavior or that he/she would enjoy the behavior.

While fantasy may enhance actual sexual practices, it should not be assumed that a fantasized behavior represents an unconscious desire. Thus, some women fantasize about being overpowered or even raped by a man, but this does not mean they actually want to be raped.

Similarly, some men fantasize about multiple sexual partners, but would find it emotionally difficult to maintain several simultaneous relationships.

In recent years, there has been a greater openness about fantasy and a greater recognition of how common this behavior is for both men and women.

While fantasy often is treated as an individual behavior, partners sometimes "act out" shared fantasies to enhance their enjoyment of sex. Computers and the internet have contributed to a new arena of fantasy behavior, with extensive electronic exchange of pornography, interactive role-playing communication, fantasy-constructed chat rooms, and other forms of eroticized and non-eroticized fantasy communication among computer users.

Therapists have found that fantasy can be useful in helping patients overcome sexual problems. With the help of a therapist, the individual may, through fantasy, confront the fearful stages of intimacy and lovemaking and reduce or eliminate those fears and apprehensions.
Copyright 2002 Sinclair Intimacy Institute

Ready for your Sex Appointment?

Posted by Meghan at 11:34 AM 0 comments Links to this post
As a mother of one I'm not a stranger to the fact things change after children enter your world. Especially with your partner. We are both tired, all the time. Our clocks don't normally sync up all the time. That's why setting a Sex Appointment can help.

Tips for Making a Sex Appointment and Scheduling Sex

* Communicate your feelings and thoughts about your sexual intimacy and different time schedules and/or body clocks. I'm a night owl so this is normally my time. My Spouse however is first thing in the morning when all I can think about is Sesame Street playing in the back ground and JaMonkey tickling my toes.

* Don't fall into the trap of thinking that scheduling sex makes sex boring. I've been desperately trying to let my husband in on this one. He says scheduling stuff, even date nights, isn't romantic or fun. Um, reality check dear, we have a 2 year old. We kinda need to nail down a babysitter or not be out late if she's with us.

* Look at both of your schedules and determine a couple of times per week that would work best. We've come to the conclusion that Lunch time booty is the only time we can slip it in, she's either sleeping or still at school. Maybe it's the moment you put your kids down for the evening. Instead of heading for the couch with the remote you whip out the lace (or latex whatever your into) and see if that doesn't set things in motion.

* Be realistic about your kids' schedules and other commitments. My child doesn't have any commitments yet but I'm sure many of you have soccer games and ballet recitals to think about.

* Don't pick a time that you know one of you will need or want to cancel.Like in my case weekends are breakable dates, I might be doing a Pure Romance party, or he might be brewing beer. Whereas weekdays are pretty much the same every single evening

* Accept there will be some compromise for both of you. You both may lose some sleep now and then. I think there should be a me night and a partner night. Sometimes you have to compromise if you really want to do it at night your partner should respect that but you must be willing to come to his terms too.

* Once you have some times scheduled, stay committed to those times with one another. Start with one, if it works out then start scheduling more. Sex is an amazing stress reliever along with fantastic for your relationship. Throw some games in there to make it interesting.

* Try to get away once a month without the kids. These one-night stands are good for your marriage.See a movie, bring the kids to the grandparents. Do a sitter exchange with friends. They watch your kids one night and you return the favor one night!

It may sound like a silly concept especially to someone that doesn't have children. But for those that do you know what I'm talking about. Set a date make a whole night of it. Go to dinner, see a movie, come home and the kids should be nice and tucked in when you get get busy!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Tips for Reviving the Passion in Your Relationship

Posted by Meghan at 11:37 AM 0 comments Links to this post
By George Wood
and Meghan Cooper

Many couples feel that their relationship starts to lose its passion after sometime. This is mostly because of the fact that they don’t try anything new and feel that they have become bored of everything. You begin to settle into a daily life routine, get up, drop children off, go to work, come home, eat dinner put kids to bed, relax on couch. What they need to know is that variety is very important for a healthy and passionate relationship. This article will help you discover some of the ways to re-ignite passion in your relationship and re-discover the excitement of being committed.

There could be many ways by which you can spend some quality time together to indulge in romantic activities you have long forgotten. Plan a weekend getaway to some quiet and beautiful place. Spend sometime walking and holding each other’s hands. Talking things out and sorting ways to ease tension also helps to bring two people intimately closer to each other.

Another way to re-awaken passion is to plan something adventurous together. Your partner might be a little afraid of skiing, snorkeling, horse riding, free falling and other activities, but this could be a way to overcome their fright. Take them to all the places you two would love to be in. Tell them it’s nothing to be afraid of and that the two of you can achieve anything together.

If you like to stay at home then plan something new each day. You can go out for a romantic dinner or just for a little stroll down the lane. Ask your partner what they want to do on a particular evening. If you like movies; watch a few movies together and make your partner comfortable by making them their favorite meals and doing little chores for them. Another way to revive passion is to buy small gifts for your partner to express your love in a different way.

There is also the age old trick of introducing toys into your relationship. You can read more about that here.

Always try to be closer to your partner wherever you are. Whether it’s the living room, kitchen or bedroom don’t wait for a chance to hold your partner’s hand or kiss them lightly. Just do it whenever you feel like it. Be spontaneous and don’t think that they would not like it. Everyone wants to love and be loved in return. If you will be open with your partner, your partner is sure to open up after a few loving gestures from your side. Tell them how beautiful they really are and how much you love them, no matter what the occasion is. Don’t hesitate to express your true feelings.

Spending time with kids and playing games with them all day long and then making them go to bed so that the two of you can spend sometime together is also a way to re-discover the passion in your relationship. Your children complement your relationship. If you do something touching for your children, your partner is going to be touched by it too.

Another way to re-ignite passion is to plan some date nights like the way you used to. Visit places you loved to visit before and have spent great times there. Pure Romance developed a wonder Date Night game to help bring passion back into your relationship. It opens up the lines on communication along with giving you the chance to learn something about your partner you may not have known. There are also other games we offer that are fun to play, along with spicing things up. Take some time to get ready and pay attention to your appearance. If you feel sexy it will radiate a self confidence that is very attracting to a man. Also appreciate your partner on their appearance and the way they look.

Be spontaneous, some men are turned off by the thought of "scheduling" alone time, or date nights. For couples that have children this is much harder. But perhaps you can schedule the babysitter and then let things pan out from there.  

Try these simple methods and see what an uplifting effect they have on your relationship.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Tantric Orgasms

Posted by Meghan at 11:39 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Sexual Health can be improved naturally through the practices of Tantra Yoga and tantric sex. Besides having a strong body/mind/spirit connection, every loving couple should also enjoy multiple, powerful sexual orgasms, which stimulate and increase the secretion of the pineal and pituitary glands.

Tantric Sex Improves Sexual Health

Tantric sex has a rejuvenating effect, improving men and women's sexual health. Frequent orgasms, as one of the brain wave stimulations, will alter body chemistry. Depression and stress disappear. Women's sexual health is greatly improved. Headaches, menstrual cramps, urinary-tract problems, weak immune function, incontinence, etc. virtually become a thing of the past.

In tantric sex, the brain chemistry is affected by empowering the endocrine glands for more hGH, serotonin, DHEA, and testosterone. Scientific and medical studies prove that sexual health improves drastically... stimulating blood circulation, detoxifying the body through the breath, strengthening the cardiovascular, endocrine/immune and nervous functions, leading to improved sexual health, rejuvenation and longevity.

Orgasms Strengthen Immune System

Orgasms that last at least 20 minutes can alleviate depression altogether. Take years off our face as depression is eliminated from our life. Prolong life span, strengthen the immune system and improve overall sexual health by freeing our body and mind through tantric sex.

Men can derive great benefits by increasing sexual quantity and sexual quality in a safe, healthy, natural way through tantric sex. Tantric sex focuses on the benefits of prolonging the sex act for more intimacy and health benefits.

Men are most concerned with:

  • Having a soft erection
  • Inability to maintain an erection
  • Low intensity
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Prolonging ejaculation
  • Performance skills
  • Self confidence
  • Satisfying his partner
  • Male sexual health
While men's sexual health concerns are more of a physical nature, women's concerns seem to be a function of their minds.

Women want to enjoy sex, but their main problem usually stems from Western based religions or feelings of guilt and shame.

Women's problems with sex generally fall in the following categories:

  • Loss of interest in sex
  • Loss of sensations
  • Painful intercourse
  • Inability to reach orgasm
  • Having weak or mild orgasms
  • Weak internal muscles due to childbirth etc.
  • Sexual health concerns
  • Sexual guilt and shame
  • Inhibitions
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Need to be in control
Loss of interest can arise from being too busy, overworked, having an insensitive lover who doesn't know how to make you happy. The guilt and shame factor is deeply embedded in our Western culture mainly perpetuated through religion and "osmosis" ...the Western mind-set. In the East, the body and all its functions are considered beautiful and natural.

Frequent Orgasms and Women's Health

Frequent orgasms can benefit women's sexual health tremendously. However, there is a vast difference in having an ordinary orgasm and having a tantric orgasm. Ordinary orgasms, which are the norm, are of short duration, isolated in the sex organs. Tantric sex orgasms involve the full body, mind and spirit, lasting for hours as well.

Benefits of Tantric Orgasm

To obtain the benefits of a tantric orgasm, the shakti, or energy, the rising kundalini, must pierce each of the chakras (vortexes of energy in the subtle body) as it ascends the spinal cord. It must reach the brain's central nervous system and endocrine command center - the hypothalamus and pituitary gland, which commands the changes that benefits our sexual health.

Benefits of Frequent Orgasms

Frequent and powerful orgasms increase the level of the orgasm hormone, oxytocin. The oxytocin level is linked to the personality, passion, social skills and emotional quotient (EQ), all of which affects career, marriage, emotions and social life. Orgasms are very beneficial for sexual health because they empower our pituitary (brain function).

We benefit from tantra practices on the physical, spiritual and emotional levels. Hari Om Tat Sat.

About this Contributor Chandi Devi has always been involved in both the creative arts as well as the mystic arts. Chandi showed great talent in the spiritual and mystic arts even as a young child, an interest that would eventually lead her to completely immerse herself in the study of tantra and all the meditative arts. Through the tantric path, the Shakti (goddess energy) awakened in Chandi a profoundly deep and broad passion for the diversity of life's treasures, including spiritual studies, yoga, holistic health, healing, nutrition, vegetarianism, fitness, exercise, Vedic astrology, card reading, feng shui, tarot, pets, animal rights, politics, beauty, fashion, painting, writing, sculpting, dancing, singing, songwriting, doll making, costuming, and many more.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

All About Lubricants

Posted by Meghan at 11:42 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Lubricants can increase pleasure during sex especially when used with condoms and dental dams. Lubricants should be used with condoms if you or your partner experiences any vaginal or anal dryness.  Some medications such as antidepressants tend to cause vaginal dryness along with low libido. Lubricants should always be used with anal sex because the anus does not self lubricate. Without lubrication the anus can sustain small tears or rips, which can lead to increased risk of contracting HIV and other STDs. Vaginal or anal dryness can cause condoms to break, so adding lubricant can prevent condom breakage and also tearing of the skin on the genitals and the anus.

If you're using a lubricant make sure that is it condom compatible. If it is not condom compatible, select one that is.  This information should be on the located on the lubricant bottle. If a lube is not condom compatible it can cause the condom to tear or rip.Which are normally oil based such as Sensations, Whipped and Lickity Stiff. Water based and silicone lubricants such as Just Like Me, Sweet Seduction and Pure Pleasure are the safest to use with condoms and barrier birth control methods. 

Also, flavored lubricants should only be used for oral sex as the sugars can irritate the genitals. Pure Romance specially formulates their lubricants to be yummy and safe, but if you are prone to yeast or bacterial infections we offer non flavored versions of your favorite lubricants. 

Pure Pleasure is our silicone based lubricants are water resistant and more slippery and silky than water based lubes. Silicone lubes can be difficult to wash out of sheets and clothes. Especially good for anal play so that it will not be absorbed  into the anal cavity.

Water based lubes tend to dry out more quickly than silicone based lubes, but do not stain fabrics.Unless you have Just Like Me! So have you heard about why KY Jelly and AstroGlide were created? Maybe you don't want to know, I won't be offended if you leave now! KY was invented by GM to grease mechanical parts and AstroGlide was designed by NASA to lubricate O-Rings on the Space Shuttle. Now, I don't know about you but that makes my lubricant-dar go off as not my thing. Just Like Me was designed for a women's body. It absorbs into the vaginal tissue to mix with your own natural secretions. The best thing about Just Like Me is the re-wetting ability that is has. One application is all you need. A little saliva or being turned on again will cause the natural secretions to mix with the JLM bringing that lubricant right back to life!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Introducing Sex Toys into a Relationship

Posted by Meghan at 11:46 AM 0 comments Links to this post
by Petra Zebroff

Introducing Sex Toys into a Relationship
Ah, new relationships -- blissful -- yet they can be tricky.
You've got to ask yourself all of those important questions, like: "whose house to sleep at tonight?" "when should he/she meet my parents?" And of course, "how do I introduce my new partner to my favorite vibrator?" Your sex toys may have become your tried and true friends. Outlasting most of your relationships and definitely keeping you company when you are sans partner. So here are some suggestions to help the introductions go smoothly.

Start Slow
Don't scare him or her off by worshipping your toy. It is more important to be focused on your partner than an inanimate object. After a few rewarding sessions of sex without the help of a sex toy start considering how you might broach the subject. Many partners are intrigued if not turned on by the use of sexual enhancements but don't make any assumptions.

Bringing it up
You can easily figure out how your partner feels about toy use by dropping a few hints or asking point blank. Have they ever used toys before? If so, what kind? Opening a dialogue can help take the guesswork out of it. Creating a sense of openness about sexuality in general will help to create a safe environment to explore. Rather than dropping the bomb while he/she is reading the morning paper, leave some erotica out or suggest an adult movie where toys are used. The Many Joys of Sex Toys is a subtle or not so subtle suggestion.

If there is some resistance on your partners part, negotiate an agreement. There are the occasional people who take offense to their partner using a toy. It may be a matter of slowly incorporating them into toy use as a couple or just agreeing to disagree and still using toys for masturbation without your partner. If this concern comes up it is important to let your partner know that your toy is not a threat to him/her or your relationship.

Get it out in the open.
Shop for a new toy together There may be an assumption that old toys = use with old partners. So plan a shopping spree. You can shop online together.  This way you are both involved.

G-Spot: Fact or Fiction

Posted by Meghan at 11:45 AM 0 comments Links to this post
You may have one, or you may not. If you do, you may not feel anything in particular, or you may swoon with delight, or you may simply have a pressing need to urinate. The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot as it is more commonly known, remains a thing of mystery. Look in any anatomy textbook - you won't find it. Ask a surgeon - they've never seen it. Ask a woman, well that's a different story.

Assuming you have a G-Spot, and not all women do, you will find it about one or two inches inside the vagina, on the frontal aspect of the vaginal wall. It's actually better to think of it as an area rather than a spot and this is because it can change in size. When sexually aroused, the area can easily quadruple in size from the initial pea-sized zone. To the touch, the area is a little rougher than the surrounding vaginal wall.

The first authoritative claim to an erogenous zone within the vagina, came in 1944, from the German doctor, Ernst Gräfenberg. Stimulating the area, Gräfenberg wrote, causes intense sexual pleasure and orgasm. Perhaps he was ahead of his time, but for reasons unknown, his ‘discovery' was pretty well ignored for another 30 years or so.

In 2008, doctors at the University of L'Aquila in Italy, confirmed the existence of the G-Spot through the use of ultrasound scans. "For the first time, it is possible to determine by a simple, rapid and inexpensive method if a woman has a G-Spot or not," Dr. Emmanuele Jannini told New Scientist magazine. "Women without any visible evidence of a G-Spot cannot have a vaginal orgasm," he declared.

Case closed? Not likely. The announcement was met with a range of reactions. Some welcomed the news, others were more reserved. Some asked, have you really found a structure in its own right, or is it an internal extension of the clitoris? Others complained that the sample size was far too small to draw such a broad conclusion. Another strand in the argument said the structure was no more than a thickening of tissue that occurs in the absence of the prostate gland in women.

Assuming you think you have the G-Spot, this is good news, right? Not so fast. To begin with, you may be one of the women who have an insensitive G-Spot, so not much joy to be had. If stimulated, it may simply make you feel a bit uncomfortable or simply make you want to pee. Some say this is a good sign and it's worth persevering. Others say they are pretty sure they have a G-Spot but it still isn't as good as clitoral stimulation. Yet others appear to hate having the area stimulated despite the fact they are open to other forms of sexual experimentation.

Human anatomy is such that the missionary position is unlikely to stimulate the G-Spot. Because of its location the penis can only stimulate the G-Spot if positions are adopted that allow the penis to rub against the frontal wall of the vagina.

If there is a message to take from this it is probably along the lines of everyone is different and so is their experience of sexual pleasure. The G-Spot is, perhaps, an erogenous zone, but there are very many others waiting to be explored.

Pure Romance carries a line of products designed specifically for finding and stimulating your G-spot. They may not have proof set in the science books just yet but I do believe everyone woman is different. In my experience and with talking with my customers this is very true. Here are some of the top sellers for finding and stimulating the illusive G-spot! 

The G-Wiz is a soft, jelly g-spot vibe that hits the right spot while the super soft clitoral stimulator maximizes the orgasmic pleasure. Designed by a woman for maximum arousal.

Designed by a woman for us women! The bonus to the G-Wiz is that you can control the bullets on the toy, for less stimulation in one area and more in another.
Perfect for g-spot stimulation on land or at sea. This soft, sensuous, waterproof, multi-speed g-spot vibrator is ribbed and packed with pleasure. Perfectly designed to help you find your G-spot. The powerful bullet helps stimulate the area 2-3 inches in along with clitoral stimulation. 

Enjoy the perfect g-spot vibrator, whose clitoral “nubbies” will tickle you all the way to your toes!  By popular request, Thumbs Up has received a ‘manicure’ and is now both wireless and waterproof!  We give it rave reviews – two energetic Thumbs Up!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

20 Helpful Hints for Women To Reach Orgasm

Posted by Meghan at 11:48 AM 0 comments Links to this post
20 Helpful Hints for Women To Reach Orgasm
by Cynthia Lief Ruberg, MS Ed, LPCC, FAACS
A common concern I hear from my female clients involves difficulty in reaching orgasm. Here are some hints that I have found to be helpful:


1) Anticipate the Sexual Encounter--Many women find that if they spend some time fantasizing about an upcoming sexual encounter, they can use their minds (imagination) to "turn themselves on" physically, as well as emotionally. It also helps for women to learn to identify what turns them on in their environment (i.e., romantic or erotic stories, love songs, videos, etc.) and use this material in anticipation of a sexual encounter. This process of "starting on warm" can help to make reaching "the end" easier.

2) Get Relaxed--Most women require a transition or "down time" in order to be opened-up to receiving sexual pleasure. This is because emotional tension negatively interferes with sexual response. So, listen to music, take a hot bath, read a book, do "whatever works" to get relaxed. Being in a relaxed mode is very helpful to achieving orgasm.

3) Eliminate Distractions--Women frequently find that their minds are cluttered with distractions such as "to do" lists, worries about privacy, too much light in the room, too much noise, pets in the room, etc. Identifying one's distractions and then eliminating them before sex can help a woman to focus on her body and her good feelings so that orgasm is easier to achieve. Distractions of any kind usually sabotage the sexual focus needed for most women to reach orgasm.

4) Eliminate Anger--It is hard to make love to a porcupine---and that is how many women feel when they are angry at their partner. Anger distances people. It is necessary for most women to work on eliminating angry and hurt feelings so that they can feel intimately connected with their partner. Most women require connection at the heart before they can truly connect with their genitals.

5) Get Comfortable with Your Body and Its Imperfections--Learning to appreciate and accept one's body is key to good sexual responsiveness. Obsessing over body imperfections--how it looks, feels, smells, or tastes, etc., may sabotage sexual response and certainly can interfere with orgasm. Such obsessing interferes with sexual arousal. In other words, the mind gets in the way of the body's response. It is good to remember that most men get more turned on by an interested and interesting partner rather than by a perfect body.

6) Get Into an Erotic Focus During Sex--This requires putting the mind in an erotic mode so that the mind can boost physical arousal. This can be done by following in "the mind's eye" what one's partner is doing (to you) physically. It may require imagery of an erotic or romantic scene or fantasy that is a turn on. Perhaps, best of all is being turned on by watching one's partner and/or looking into each other's eyes. But this might not be possible because many women need closed eyes to focus in order to reach orgasm.

7) Concentrate--As arousal builds, most women need to concentrate on their pleasurable feelings (especially those in the clitoris and/or vagina), and on their growing excitement. Concentration, which usually excludes verbal responses, is part of the erotic focus necessary for many women to reach orgasm.

8) Get Out of The "Real Way" Trap--Many people of both genders mistakenly believe that "the real way" to orgasm is only through vaginal intercourse. Other ways of achieving orgasm, such as by clitoral stimulation (manually or orally), do not count to these people because these orgasms are deemed inferior to a "vaginal orgasms." This false belief (which originated with Sigmund Freud) still causes many modern women to think they are broken, abnormal or inferior because they can not orgasm "the real way." Please remember: The majority of women orgasm most effectively with clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation assisted by clitoral stimulation, not by vaginal stimulation alone, and that is okay and fine! Many women will never orgasm just by vaginal stimulation alone. All orgasms are valid no matter how they happen to occur. Trying to orgasm the "real way" can trap people into worrying about sexual performance and can certainly inhibit orgasm.

9) Make Time For Play--
People frequently leave lovemaking for very late hours, when bodies just need sleep. If people would "make time for play" (not necessarily foreplay), protect that time and not wait for spontaneous encounters, they would be more assured of good sex. This is especially meaningful for women because it is easier to reach orgasm when feeling energized rather than tired and weary.


1) Become an Expert On Your Own Body--
Learning about your body and its responses is essential for most women to reach orgasm reliably. The idea is to take control of your body and personally get in touch with your responses, then teach your partner what kind of touch is most pleasurable. Remember, he is not the expert only on his body! Your are! Women who haven't learned about their bodies are not able to know what they like sexually. These women are often not orgasmic because they haven't learned what works for them. We have a fantastic book that teaches you everything you need to know about your body called Tickle Your Fancy.

2) Communicate Openly--Open communication is essential for sexual satisfaction because people are not mind readers. Spoken communication is clearest, but guiding your partner's hand or prearranged cues may work as well. Open communication about sex takes honesty, trust, respect and the ability to take risks.

3) Be Sure Your Partner is "On the Mark"-- If your partner is off target when stimulating your body, you won't ever reach orgasm. So, make sure you convey where you need to be touched as well as what you like best.

4) Exaggerate Sexual Tension--With physical arousal it is natural for one's muscles to tense up as orgasm approaches. This happens in both sexes, but is more noticeable in women. Exaggerating this muscle tension may help to trigger an orgasm.

5) Squeeze those Muscles--Contracting the muscles around the vagina (called PC muscles) helps to bring blood to the genitals and thus builds arousal. These are also the muscles that contract with orgasm. Squeezing the PC muscles (called Kegel Exercises) may help to trigger orgasm and may make orgasm more intense. To help strengthen your PC muscles for stronger orgasms, especially after childbirth, you can use Ben Wa Balls. 

6) Hang Your Head--Hanging your head over the side of the bed may trigger orgasm. In some women this may heighten arousal and sexual tension. If nothing else, this position will be a distraction from "trying too hard" and hence may lead to orgasm.

7) Breathe Differently--Varying breathing patterns may also add to sexual arousal and can trigger orgasm.

8) Be a Tease--Teasing yourself or allowing your partner to tease you by touching your "pleasure spots," then withdrawing the touch over and over again, is a very effective way to build arousal and heighten orgasm.

9) Practice Letting Go--Orgasm rehearsal (in private) is often helpful for women who have trouble relinquishing control. Practicing orgasms, including making noises and "funny" faces, may help to gain comfort and reduce anxiety about having orgasms. This may help in the process of learning to orgasm.

10) Be superior--For women who want to "work on" their orgasms with intercourse, the female superior position (on top) generally works best. This position allows a woman to take control of intercourse, thus allowing maximum stimulation. In this way, she can control the tempo of intercourse, the depth of penile thrusting (or sliding movements), and the clitoral stimulation. The female superior position is especially good for women who have personal issues that require the need to feel in total control sexually.

11) Use Toys If You Like--If you are comfortable with the use of sex toys, vibrators can be a fun way to help "get there" reliably and easily. They take "the work" out of trying to orgasm and can also take pressure off your partner because your pleasure then becomes your own responsibility. Vibrators work best when you hold it on yourself. Vibrators can be used (held on the clitoris) for sexual play or during sexual intercourse to facilitate the path to orgasm. Check out our full line of vibrators and toys

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